Losing Jesus
...I remember the sense of mounting panic when we couldn’t find him. All the time I was telling myself, ‘Don’t be daft, he’s God’s son, he’ll be fine.’ But that didn’t stop my fear growing...
Bible Reading
Luke 2:41-52
41 Every year Jesus’ parents went to Jerusalem for the Festival of the Passover. 42 When he was twelve years old, they went up to the festival, according to the custom. 43 After the festival was over, while his parents were returning home, the boy Jesus stayed behind in Jerusalem, but they were unaware of it. 44 Thinking he was in their company, they travelled on for a day. Then they began looking for him among their relatives and friends. 45 When they did not find him, they went back to Jerusalem to look for him. 46 After three days they found him in the temple courts, sitting among the teachers, listening to them and asking them questions. 47 Everyone who heard him was amazed at his understanding and his answers. 48 When his parents saw him, they were astonished. His mother said to him, ‘Son, why have you treated us like this? Your father and I have been anxiously searching for you.’
49 ‘Why were you searching for me?’ he asked. ‘Didn’t you know I had to be in my Father’s house?’ 50 But they did not understand what he was saying to them.
51 Then he went down to Nazareth with them and was obedient to them. But his mother treasured all these things in her heart. 52 And Jesus grew in wisdom and stature, and in favour with God and man.
All scripture quotations taken from
The Holy Bible, New International Version® NIV®
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Background
It is about 65 miles from Nazareth to Jerusalem, about a 5 to 6 day walk. And the feast of the unleavened bread, which starts with Passover, is a weeklong feast. That means that Mary, Joseph and Jesus would have been absent from home for about 3 weeks… a week getting there, a week in Jerusalem, and a week getting home again. This is a major expedition, and the text shows there were a number of families travelling together.
Some people from the community may have stayed behind in Nazareth to look after animals and crops. It may have been older relatives that were not up to the journey, or possibly families took turns to make the journey, and those that remained looked after the other’s property and livestock. However, it says that Mary and Joseph went every year… When your child is the son of God, then you probably feel more pressure than most to get to the Passover festival every year 😊😊.
The requirement was only for the male of the household to go, but Mary went too. We know that Jesus had younger brothers and sisters, but the text does not say they were there on this occasion.
I wonder what it was like being a parent to Jesus as he grew up. They knew he was God’s son. They’d had encounters with the angels, shepherds, and magi. They’d heard the prophecies of Simeon and Anna. I wonder what sort of pressure that put on them as parents?
Every child is precious to a parent, and we watch keenly as they develop. We all recall key memories as they grow. Mary was no different; after the visit of the shepherds, and after the time when they lose Jesus and find him in the temple, it says that Mary ‘treasured these things in her heart’.
Knowing all that happened around his birth, I’m sure Joseph and Mary were looking for signs that he was different as he grew. Outside of this passage, nothing is recorded in the gospels about Jesus’ childhood, which suggests that he had a fairly normal childhood.
The fact that when he’s 12 years old they’re not watching Jesus like a hawk, and that they could travel a whole day before they noticed he was missing, means that he was probably just like many other 12-year-olds.
At that age children are stretching boundaries, doing their own thing. Travelling with a large group of people he could be anywhere… a normal child, off somewhere with his friends.
Mary was there throughout his ministry, there when they crucified him, and there at Pentecost. I wonder how many times Mary was asked about his childhood. I wonder how many times she would have related the story about the events around his birth and this story of when he was 12.
I think the passage above would have been a story she shared regularly in response to the question, ‘When was it that he started to show signs that he was the Messiah?’ And I suspect that’s why Luke included it in his Gospel.
How did it feel to parent a child who you knew was destined to be the long-awaited messiah?
How would it feel if you’d failed to notice the fact that he’d been missing for a day?
When they finally found him, how much emotion was behind those words, ‘Son, why have you treated us like this?’?
As we imagine ourselves in the story, we can perhaps get new insights into these questions.
Before reading on, read the passage from Luke’s Gospel again ( Luke 2:41-52)… and then imagine that you have Mary with you, sharing her story, witnessing to what she saw and felt on that day.
As you read through the Bible passage and the story:
Take time to notice how you feel about what you are reading.
Are there things in the story that jar, or resonate with you? Why is that?
How would you react if you put yourself in Mary’s shoes?
At the end of the story, before moving on to the thoughts and questions for reflection, pause and ask God what he wants you to take from this story.
If you find it helpful, make notes in a journal as you read and pray.
Mary’s Story:
Recorded by Catherine Jones
When did he first do something remarkable? Hah, I’ve been asked that sooo many times.
There were so many extraordinary events that happened around his birth… but they happened to me, or to Joseph, or to us as a family, they weren’t remarkable things that Jesus did himself.
I remember the awe and disbelief when the angel appeared to me and told me I was going to bear a child
I still feel sick when I think of my fear of telling my parents. I knew how they angry they would be, and I was terrified about what Joseph would do. Joseph's look of hurt and betrayal haunted me for years. I waited for the harsh words of condemnation, but all he did was turn and walk silently away.
And I can clearly recall the vast sense of relief when days later, Joseph came to see me and told me that he believed me, because he too had been visited by an angel.
I remember when Jesus was born… what mother can ever forget the birth of a child! Hah… I counted his fingers and toes and checked every inch of him! Seems silly now, but I just wanted to see if he was normal…
And he was… Just like every other baby.
There was the visit from Shepherds… and then in the temple with Simeon and Anna… I treasured all those things in my heart.
Sometime later, the magi came bringing gifts. Those gifts were essential in helping us make a fresh start in Egypt after we’d fled Bethlehem to escape Herod.
It was all remarkable… but these things happened to us or to Jesus. They weren’t unusual things that Jesus himself did.
All the time, as he grew, I watched and waited for something that would reveal the fact that he was special.
I remember when he said his first word, Abba. I’d been coaching him for weeks to call Joseph ‘Abba’, and he did!
I didn’t know then that we’d all come to know God as Abba!
I remember holding his hands as he tentatively took his first steps… the countless times I picked him up when he fell and cradled him until his tears subsided.
Just a normal child.
There was a joy in him. He loved to laugh… and he loved to learn. He was always asking Joseph questions, and he was a quick study… but nothing miraculous. Just a normal happy child
He was clearly a leader and had a good heart… but almost every mother I know says that about their children.
Every year Joseph and I went to the Passover celebration in Jerusalem. And every year at the Passover meal, I held my breath, waiting to see whether Elijah would appear and proclaim Jesus as the Messiah…
But he never did.
Over the years, I sort of stopped expecting it… I mean, I didn’t forget all that happened around his birth, but he was just like every other child, so I guess I just put it out of my mind.
Then there was that year. I think he’d just turned 12.
We went to Jerusalem as normal, and the festival was great – it was so good to meet up with extended family on the road, to catch up on all that had happened since we’d last met and to celebrate with them throughout the feast of unleavened bread.
We were still busy catching up and sharing stories even as we left!
Although we weren’t all returning to the same place, we started out together from Jerusalem. It is safer to travel in large groups, but it makes setting out more than a little chaotic! I knew Jesus was with us when we set off, so when we didn’t see him all day, I just assumed he was with family or friends.
It was at the end of the first day’s travel, as we were setting up camp for the night that I first noticed that Jesus was missing. We searched for him, calling out and asking friends and relatives if they had seen him, but no one had.
I remember the sense of mounting panic when we couldn’t find him. All the time I was telling myself, ‘Don’t be daft. He’s God’s son. He’ll be fine.’ But that didn’t stop my fear from growing.
If you’ve ever lost a child, you’ll know what that all-consuming panic is like.
When we were finally sure that he wasn’t with us, it was too late… too dark for us to make our way back to Jerusalem!
I lay awake all night worrying, and as soon as the sky lightened in the east, we got up and set off for Jerusalem again.
We walked at a pace, and I remember constantly crying to God, ‘Yahweh, please keep him safe. Please help us to find him.’ Over and over under my breath, ‘Yahweh, please keep him safe. Please help us to find him. Yahweh, please keep him safe. Please help us to find him. Yahweh, please keep him safe. Please help us to find him...’
We made it back to Jerusalem by early afternoon. We went straight to the relatives we‘d stayed with, and they helped us ask around the places we’d been in the previous week.
But we didn’t find him, and when night fell, we went back to stay with those same relatives.
I had another sleepless night and tried to think about where he might be. I alternated between panicking… and crying… and calling out to God. ‘Yahweh, please keep him safe. Please help us to find him.’
Joseph tried to console me, but he wasn’t much better himself.
Another day of frantic searching yielded nothing, and by the end of the day I was wrung out and exhausted. The second night I was less distraught. I was just numb with grief and disbelief.
We’d lost him!... Jesus… my child… God’s son… we’d lost him!
Someone had taken him, or maybe they’d killed him!
I was a broken, exhausted wreck as I fell into a fitful sleep…
It was on the 3rd day that we found him.
I wanted to go and look around the temple one more time. We’d been there the day before and checked everywhere we’d been during Passover, but we hadn’t seen him. The temple is huge and has many different areas, so I wanted to go back and check every last place.
I heard his voice before I saw him.
I hurried forward, hoping it was true, but frightened that my ears were playing tricks on me. We turned a corner into one of the meeting areas where Rabbis often taught… and there he was!
He was sitting among the teachers listening to them, asking them questions. He was quoting something from Isaiah whilst the teachers looked at him in amazement.
I couldn’t believe it!
My knees almost gave way, and I would have fallen if Joseph hadn’t steadied me. I wanted to scream, I wanted to shout, I wanted to hold him close and hug him tightly, and, at the same time, I wanted to let him know how angry and upset I was.
I took a deep breath and opened my mouth to let him know how I felt, but, guessing what I was about to do, Joseph squeezed my arm and nodded toward the teachers with Jesus. It wouldn’t be right to make a scene here.
So, I choked back what I going to say and, whilst blinking back tears, said, ‘Son… why… why have you treated us like this? Your… your father and I have been anxiously searching for you!’
It all came out in a rush, and my voice broke as I said it… but at least it was polite.
And it was then… it was at that moment that I realised things had changed.
He looked me in the eyes and gently said, ‘Didn’t you know that I had to be in my Father’s house?’
‘…my father’s house.’… I didn’t quite get what he meant at that time. We didn’t think of God as Father back then. I mean, Yahweh was God almighty, not ‘father’. I know the first commandment is to love God, but loving Yahweh was about worship and... and… about reverently fearing him. To us, the command to love God had never implied a family sort of love.
But it wasn’t his words that calmed my bubbling and boiling emotions… it was his eyes.
There was something in his eyes… something different. There was a depth that I’d never noticed before.
There was a deep joy and… and… a deep sorrow in them, all at the same time.
As he looked into my eyes, I saw such overwhelming love and compassion that it moved me… moved my soul at the deepest level.
All these years later, I still vividly recall the impact of that gaze.
That was it… that was the first time I saw something that revealed that this was no normal child. The first time that I clearly saw that this was the son of God… God’s messiah, the saviour of Israel… and the saviour of the whole world.
Even though he came back home and continued to live and grow up with us… from then on… from then on, I saw him differently.
For me, that was the moment… that was the moment that Jesus revealed who he truly was.
Questions for reflection:
How did this story make you feel?
Were there things in the story that jarred, or resonated with you? Why is that?
When think of Jesus what images come to mind?
How do you see him? – close friend, or Lord and King? God with us, or God now distant? God all powerful, or God all compassionate.
Does Jesus seem distant to you?
All of us, from time to time and to different degrees, lose touch with him. We can go through spiritual wildernesses when God seems distant or even completely absent… Sometimes we can feel he is with us one minute, but then we look and can’t find him.
Imagine you have lost Jesus, and you retrace your steps to the temple. As you turn a corner, you see him there, and he looks you straight in the eyes and smiles, his face full of love and compassion.
As you encounter Jesus this lent… As you look into his eyes and see the depth of his love for you…
What are the things you need to share with him?
What are the things you need to hear?
Sit with this scene in your mind for a while, and when you are ready, finish with the prayer below.
Prayer
Lord, we thank you that you lead us on a journey of discovery;
a journey to know you more and more.
At times, when we lose sight of you, Lord,
help us to find our way back to you.
Help us to meet with you and see you more clearly,
to know you more completely
and to surrender to the love that you have for us.
Help us to know you as friend and brother,
as well as Lord and King and God.
As we meet with you,
help us to open our hearts to you,
as you so readily open your heart to us.
Amen
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