Chapter 6 - Mary Mags - Finding the way
... I could sense the Holy Spirit moving among the people there; waves of love and grace moving across the crowd like ripples on a pond...
It was relentless and it should have been exhausting. We were there baptising one person after another for about 2 hours!
We'd organised it so that about half of us were in the water baptising, and the others organised the people who were waiting to be baptised... and answered their many questions. We worked in pairs for the baptising and switched around every fifteen minutes for a break.
As time went on, the number of questions people were asking grew, because more women, and some men, had joined the crowd since we'd left the upper room. These people hadn’t witnessed what had happened but had been persuaded by others in the crowd to join the queues waiting to be baptised. They had far more questions, and when we took our turn at crowd control we found ourselves repeating something similar to what Peter had said from the window in the Upper Room.
To help ease the process, I organised the people who hadn't been there when the Spirit was poured out into a separate queue. That saved having to repeat ourselves as much, and we could explain the Good News to them in groups of about twenty to thirty.
We sent most of the men over to the pool of Siloam, but a few were so moved by the Spirit that they wanted baptising there and then, so we did.
As the number of baptised people grew, the area around the pools at Bethesda became increasingly congested. Then when Mary brought us Peter’s suggestion, we started sending people up the hill for some teaching. There were hundreds in the first group that went up the Mount of Olives, accompanied by about fifteen of us. After that, each time the number of the baptised grew to around a hundred, three or four of us would take them up the hill to join the rest.
That left fewer of us to help marshal the crowd, explain the Good News, and do the baptising... and although I think we worked even harder, inevitably, the rate at which we were baptising slowed.
So, as I've already said, it should have been exhausting... but it wasn't. We were all being strengthened and inspired by the Spirit. We laughed, sang and celebrated as we were caught up in the chaotic joy of it all.
Salome and I had just finished explaining the Good News to a group of about twenty women, when we realised we’d need to work even faster. I don't remember how many times we'd given similar explanations to small groups that morning, but every time the eager response of those listening filled my heart with joy. The latest group headed off towards the water laughing and, as usual, I found myself laughing and praising with them.
Salome was laughing with me when her expression suddenly changed, ‘We've attracted some attention.’ She nodded towards one of the entrances on the east side of the pools.
I followed her gaze and saw a temple guard watching us from the doorway. He took a step into the pool area but froze when he saw a large number of women around the colonnades and in the pool. He hesitated for a moment then turned on his heel, went back through the doorway, and set off walking quickly in the direction of the temple.
‘He'll be back with reinforcements,’ I said, ‘The worship at the temple must have finished ages ago, I'm surprised it's taken them this long to notice.’
‘What do you think they'll do?’ Salome asked. She mimicked a look of fear, and then laughed ‘Do you think we’ll be arrested?’
I laughed with her. It's not that we thought we were invincible... we’ve never thought that. We'd seen first-hand the suffering and death that Jesus had endured. And if they could do that to Jesus, to the son of God, then we’ve never been under any illusions about our physical safety. The suffering of the saints over the years since then has proved that the followers of Jesus can be hurt and killed just like anyone else. No, we never thought we were invincible... It's just that we were so full of the Spirit... so full of God's love that there was no room for fear in us.
‘What would they arrest us for anyway?’ I asked, ‘It's not a crime to baptise people.’
‘It’s the “In the name of Jesus” bit that they might object to.’ Salome laughed again, ‘Or... maybe they'll arrest us for healing all the people around the pool. They gave Jesus a hard time when he healed that one man here three years ago.’
I’ve skipped over that bit, and I ought to explain... Bethesda was a place where many blind, lame or paralysed people used to come in the hope of being healed. It was said that from time to time an angel of the Lord would come and stir up the waters, and the first one to get into the pool after the waters were stirred would be healed.
When Peter had announced the women would be baptised at Bethesda, some people had set off straight away and got there ahead of us. They'd enthusiastically shared the news about Jesus and the Promise of the Father with the disabled people gathered there. Three years before that, Jesus had visited Bethesda and he'd healed one invalid man. Everyone there knew that story, so by the time we arrived, they'd gathered outside one of the entrances to the lower pool calling out to the son of David for healing.
Only the lower pool is used for purification rites, the upper pool is a reservoir to supply water to the lower pool. So whilst some of us organised the crowd to start baptising people in the lower pool, about a dozen of us set about praying for healing in the name of Jesus.
We didn't hesitate. Some of us had been among the 72 that Jesus had sent out to heal the sick and proclaim the kingdom of God, and all of us had seen Jesus heal many people. We knew God was with us and this just seemed natural to us. But to the crowd with us, it was a revelation.
The blind saw, the lame were healed, and the paralysed walked. The expressions of joy and gratitude from the people healed were accompanied by shrieks and gasps of amazement from the crowds waiting to be baptised. That caused a slow start to the baptisms as those queuing were unable to take their eyes off the miracles that God was doing right in front of them. They were glued to the spot, eyes wide, mouths open, and expressions of total awe and disbelief on their faces.
After about 20 minutes we'd prayed and seen God heal the 60 or 70 men and women that had gathered there, and they joined the queues waiting to be baptised. We then joined the others in the pool, increasing the rate at which we could baptise people.
It was two hours later, when there were only about a hundred and fifty women left to be baptised, that the temple guard had shown up.
As the guard left, there was a shout behind us, ‘Salome!.. Mary!’ a man's voice called out, and we turned our attention towards an entrance on the west side; the side nearest the city. It was Cleopas and Stephen with two other men I didn't recognise.
Cleopas introduced them as Mordechai and Aquila and asked, ‘Is Mary... err my Mary... is she here? The wives of these two may be with her.’
‘Mary and the women that were with her were among the first group that headed up to the Mount of Olives.' I explained, ‘That was over an hour ago.’
‘We think we've just got this last hundred or so here to baptise, and we'll be following them.’ Salome added, ‘How are things at Siloam?’
‘All done,’ Stephen answered, ‘Aquila and Motti here were among the last to be baptised. Is there anything we can do to help?’
I thought for a moment, ‘If you four would help to organise the queues and answer the questions people have, then that will free the rest of us up to do the baptising.’ I nodded towards the far side of the pool, ‘We’ve attracted the attention of a temple guard, and it would be good to be gone before he returns with his “friends”.’
With the four of them helping marshal the crowd, the six of us that were left could focus on baptising. To speed things up we worked individually, rather than baptising in pairs. We baptised that last group of women in about fifteen minutes, and then headed east out of Bethesda towards the Mount of Olives. I kept expecting more temple guards to arrive, but we were so quick that we were away and across the Kidron Valley before they returned.
‘It's going to be crowded when we get there.’ Stephen was walking beside me, bringing up the rear of the group, ‘It seemed busy when there were a few hundred of us there ten days ago, but three thousand! Hah! There won't be room to move!’
Just ten days previously hundreds of us had been on the hilltop when Jesus had appeared to us. Over the forty days after he'd first appeared to me by the tomb, he'd appeared to us in groups and as individuals, sometimes in dreams and often in person. It all built up to a climax when he'd brought hundreds of us together to meet him on this hill. Here he'd commissioned us to take his teaching to the world and told us to wait for the promise of the Father. Then just like the prophets of old, he was taken up into heaven.
I felt suddenly overwhelmed by the enormity of... of... well, of everything. The last three years came rushing into my mind all at once, and I stopped in my tracks.
‘Are you alright?’ Stephen was the only one to notice as the rest were ahead of us.
‘Mmmm, Yes... give me a moment.’ I closed my eyes and shook my head to clear it. Then taking a deep breath, I silently repeated a prayer Jesus had given me years before and brought myself back to the present. ‘Yes, I'm fine.’ I said, feeling a surge of God's love and peace in my soul.
‘How do you do that?’ Stephen paused, closing his eyes before continuing, ‘There have been times today that I’ve been hanging on by my fingertips. If I stop to think about it all... I... I start to feel like I'm drowning.’ He opened his eyes again, and looked down ‘How do you keep it all together?’
I reached out and touched his arm reassuringly, ‘It sometimes feels all too much to me too.’ I replied, as he looked up with tears in his eyes, ‘Your comment about being here ten days ago, set me thinking about all that has changed in these last three years... And, being honest, I suddenly felt so small and out of my depth in the enormity of it all.’
‘But,’ I continued, ‘That's not a new feeling for me... When Jesus set me free of those demons and gave me a fresh start, I still needed so much healing in my heart and soul. He gently coached me over these last years and taught me to give my fears, my anxieties, my frustrations, and even my anger to God.’
‘To begin with, it took me ages to still the storms in my soul,’ I continued, ‘But after consistent practising, I now find it a lot easier to regain my balance.’
‘Hah!’ Stephen laughed, straightening up and wiping his eyes, ‘I'm going to need a lot of practice!’
I laughed with him, ‘One simple way that Jesus taught me was to pray one of the Psalms of ascent.’ I closed my eyes and recited,
‘My heart is not proud, Lord,
my eyes are not full of disdain;
I do not concern myself with great matters
or things too wonderful for me.
But I have calmed and quieted myself,
I am like a weaned child with its mother;
like a weaned child I am content.
Israel, put your hope in the Lord
both now and forevermore.’
As I said those familiar words I felt another surge of God's love and peace. I opened my eyes and looked at Stephen, ‘Only, Jesus taught me to say my own name in place of “Israel”... Mary, put your hope in the Lord both now and forevermore.’
‘When I first started, I'd say it slowly, dwelling on each verse. I'd breathe out my emotions, giving them to God and breathe in his peace.’ Stephen was listening intently, ‘But now I find that no matter how chaotic things are, I pause, and can quickly bring myself back to a place of stability.’
Stephen nodded looking thoughtful.
‘One other thing that occurred to me today.’ I said, ‘I’ve found it helpful to remind myself that I can't do everything... and that I don't have to. I'm not really leading, I'm just following the Master. This is Jesus' plan, and I am just one of many workers through which God is bringing in his kingdom. So today when things seem all too much, I remind myself that all I have to do is follow his guidance, and do the next thing he calls me to.’
‘Thank you,’ Stephen said, ‘That's all very helpful.’
I looked up the path and saw the last of the group disappearing around a bend ahead of us, ‘We’d better get a move on, or we'll miss all the fun of the chaos at the top.’ I laughed, hoping to lighten the mood.
‘Also, because we want to stay ahead of them.’ Stephen was looking over my shoulder and pointing back towards Bethesda.
I turned, looked down the hill and saw about six temple guards with a couple of the black-robed Pharisees walking hurriedly towards Bethesda.
‘I’d been expecting to see them a lot sooner,’ Stephen said, ‘But I suppose with all the Shavuot celebrations going on it must have taken some time for that guard to find anyone that would listen to him.’
‘They can't have seen us, or they'd be coming this way.’ I said, thinking quickly, ‘But as the festivities in the temple are over, there'll soon be many pilgrims making their way up this hill. And a gathering of three thousand people at the top is bound to attract their attention.’
We started up the hill again. ‘So what next?’ Stephen asked, breathing hard as we quickened our pace to catch up with the group ahead. ‘We can't stay on the hill... But what do we do... Where do we send people next?’
‘Help, Lord!’ I sent up an arrow prayer as my mind raced through possibilities, ‘Where would they all be if this hadn't happened?’
‘Some at the temple... some in the market... some at home... some maybe in local inns... all over the place I suppose.’ Stephen was a large man, and he was getting more out of breath as we picked up the pace.
‘I think we need to break up the crowd and send them on to wherever they'd planned to be.’ I suggested
‘But... how do we keep it going?... I mean... People will want to know what’s next... What do they do tomorrow?... and the day after?’ Stephen was struggling to breathe and I slowed the pace.
I tried to slow my mind too, seeking the peace and guidance that I'd been talking about just a few moments earlier. As I did that an image of thousands of people worshipping in the temple popped into my mind. I came to an abrupt stop for a second time. Stephen stopped too, glad for the rest and gasping for air. ‘The Temple.’ I said, ‘We can tell them all to meet at the temple tomorrow for morning prayer.’
‘Aren't we just... trying to get away... from the temple authorities?’ Stephen frowned, puzzled by the suggestion.
I closed my eyes, trying to understand this flash of inspiration, ‘Yes...’ I said slowly, ‘But a crowd of thousands on this hill is an unusual gathering... one that would raise all sorts of suspicions for the Sanhedrin and the Romans. However, an extra few thousand people in the temple for morning prayer at a festival time would be welcomed by the Sadducees. Hah! They'd be glad to have us there.’
Stephen laughed with me, ‘Brilliant! Hiding in plain sight, I love it!’ His breathing was getting easier, ‘But what then? These people still have so many questions, and the teaching the others will have been doing today couldn’t be openly done in the temple.’
‘I think that's a question we need to explore with the others.’ I said as I started walking again, ‘Come on, we are almost there.’
We got to the top of the hill just a few minutes behind the main group. I’d picked up the pace again, keen to talk with the others and find a way forward. But as I reached the top of a rise, I was brought to a standstill again. I was full of awe at the sight of the hilltop carpeted with thousands of people. I'd seen crowds like this before on more than one occasion (Jesus had fed and healed thousands), but this was happening without him being physically present... except through us who were following him.
Stephen caught me up, ‘Wow!’ he looked around and smiled, ‘This is incredible!’
I could sense the Holy Spirit moving among the people there; waves of love and grace moving across the crowd like ripples on a pond. It was so beautiful, so alive... so exactly how things should be; human beings and God in perfect harmony with each other. I felt a huge surge of joy; God's joy... his pleasure in this gathering. Concerns about the Pharisees were forgotten as that overwhelming joy filled my whole body, and tears ran down my face as I shouted ‘Hallelujah! Praise the Lord!’
There were several echoes of ‘Hallelujah’ from the crowd as people turned to see where the shout had come from.
‘Hallelujah indeed, Mary.’ Peter was laughing as he stood up in the group he'd been teaching. He excused himself from the group and we walked towards each other, several of the other apostles also moving to join us.
Cleopas and Mary were the first to get to us as they'd already been standing and talking when I arrived. Thomas, Joanna, John, Martha and Salome with the others who’d just finished baptising at Bethesda gathered too.
I quickly explained about the guards and the Pharisees, and about the idea of meeting tomorrow in the Temple for morning prayer, and they all agreed it was a good plan, ‘But how do we keep teaching them?’ I asked
‘You’re right Mags,’ Thomas laughed, ‘It would be a little obvious to be teaching about Jesus in the temple.’ Then more seriously, ‘So how do we do it?
‘Jesus was always teaching us... as we walked, when we stopped to eat... everywhere. He shared his life with us and taught out of anything and everything that happened.’ Peter paused, running his hands through his hair as he often did when he was thinking, ‘When the crowds got too big he'd dismiss them, move on and then begin again in a new place. But...but, I don't think that's what we should do here. This is something new.’
‘I agree, it’s completely new.’ John had been deep in thought, but now he spoke up. ‘We can’t think of it in the way that we saw Jesus deal with crowds, but more in the way he dealt with us... He chose us, called us, challenged and encouraged us, and invested in us, helping us to become more of who he was calling us to be.’
‘But,’ Stephen said, ‘To do that we are going to have to split this group up and call them to follow us wherever we go so that we can pass on what we've learned from Jesus... I happily followed Jesus, but I don't think I'd follow me!’ He said with a rueful smile.
‘I was wrestling with something like this earlier,’ Peter said, ‘but Mary helped me to see it differently... We're not calling them to follow us, we're calling them to follow Jesus... to follow his way of living.’
‘And, through the Spirit, Jesus is with them wherever they go.’ Mary added, ‘It’s like he goes with them, rather than them having to drop everything to follow him.’
Thomas explained about Mary's inspiration from the prophet Jeremiah, ‘So we are just midwives to the teaching that the Holy Spirit wants to give them.’ He concluded.
‘I've had such joy in seeing the Spirit at work in the group I've been with.’ Mary said, ‘I’ve learned so much from them, and I'd love to keep meeting with them if we can find a good place to meet.’
‘What about in people's homes?’ Martha suggested.
‘It’s a bit far for people to come to Emmaus,’ Cleopas said, ‘But amongst each group, there may be people who could host us locally.’
I felt another surge of God's joy and pleasure as the conversation went back and forth, all of us working together with the Holy Spirit to find a way forward.
‘Yes! Yes!’ I couldn't contain myself, ‘Yes, that's it! We encourage people to meet all together for morning prayer in the Temple, and then meet in smaller groups in people's homes to help them learn how to recognise and follow the way of Jesus.’
‘We shall be “The followers of the way.”’ Salome said with a flourish
Peter smiled, ‘I like that. Let's go and talk with our groups, see who might be able to host us, and then begin to send people on their way.’
‘Just one thing,’ John said, ‘When we've got the way forward agreed with each group, it would be good to finish with a prayer and blessing. Peter, you’ve got the voice for this. In the same way that you spoke to the crowd earlier, do you think you could teach them the prayer that Jesus taught us?’
Again we all felt God’s pleasure at that suggestion and gave it a loud ‘Amen’ before those who had been teaching headed back to their groups.
At the same time, those of us who'd baptised the last group of women at Bethesda spoke with them and identified seven different houses where people could host us the next day.
Incredibly, within a few minutes it was all organised. Then Peter went and stood on one of the higher parts of the hill so that his voice would carry. He told of how we'd noticed the way that Jesus was sustained by the habits he had in prayer, how we'd asked him to teach us to pray, and how he had given us a format, a pattern, a way into praying the way he did.
Peter taught them the prayer a line at a time, getting the crowd to repeat it after him. He went over it several times till they got it, each time their responses got louder and more full of... of... well, of God!
The sense of God's presence in the prayer was palpable. Each time Peter repeated the prayer the Spirit moved in power among us, filling the hearts of everyone there.
The presence of God with us on the hill was so incredibly strong in that moment, that I still tremble as I recall it... And at the end... with one voice, in a loud shout that must have been heard for miles, all the people said ‘Amen!’